Oh julie

Why claim to be my friend, but then talk crap about me and my family behind my back. Why sit there and act as if we are friends, but deep down we are not. What the heck, Im so sick of you and how you talk shit about my husband on your stuff. I know thats who you are talking about. I dont care anymore. Im glade that this summer we will be camping alone with out you. It used to be fun for the first few times. Then the beer became an issue, and you would never talk to me about it like friends do. Now that your working you think that you are better. Ok whatever. Im done feeling like a piece of shit. Im done trying to be your friend, and be nice to you. Im done trying to make something work thats not there. I feel as if we just need to close the door, and look the other way. Call our looses and be cool with it all. My daughter once looked up to you as an aunt, and now. She cant, And i wont let you hurt her. you just cant come and go when ever its cool for you.

feild trip time

Last Tuesday Lil'G  went on another field trip with preschool. I went with her and we had a blast. We went to the childerns museum.

Tonight shes going to OSMI, her preschool is doing a family field trip thing today. pretty cool.

Thursday Carrie came up and took me out to dinner. We had a wonderful time. Along with a really hot waiter. which gave me his #. It made me feel nice and good that another man likes me. It was done for a big tip or something come on now, i was not born yesterday. Then we drove around and got lost, came back home. Hubby, Carrie and i stayed up all nigh drinking, and playing cards while Lil'G slept. Carrie ended up going back home Thursday night/ Friday morning. Only to come back to my house on Friday.

Friday night was Harmoni's 4th birthday party. KC, ( Carries Sister ), Carrie and I stayed up all night talking and chilling while the men sat out side in kc hubby's car drinking and watching tv in the car. Somethings that men do WOW. Harmoni, and Lil'G tried to have a sleep over. But come on now really 2 four  year olds not play in bed and play. So that did not go to well. Carrie and us came back home to our house after getting some late night food. we ended up playing cards and drinking some more. What a fun life its been the last few nights. Friday night Carrie stayed the night with us. Thank heaven because it was late.

So Saturday we ended up all going down to carries house. Which is about an hour south of our home. We ended up staying the night with her and coming back Sunday. Hubby had yet another soccer came, so we left from carries to the game. Then home. What a fun few days its been.

So Tuesday we are leaving again for a few days. We will be going and staying with Carrie. It will be fun. We are going to let Lil'G, miss 1 day of school. But she  will have fun. shes going to do some fun things with Carrie, mommy, daddy. We will be gone for about 4 days. Oh how nice it will to get away again.



Poor Lil'G shes been sleeping thru all the fun.

How can I. . .

Trust you?
you have never been there for me, and you wonder why we have the relationship we do. you say that I make you feel that way. your the mom here not me. You say that i make you feel that we dont talk enough, its a two way street.

Jan 8th.

Today would have been my grandmas birthday. She was called away to heaven on May 13th 2006. I watched her take her last breath, im thankful that she knew all about Lil'G and her arrival the following July. She knew that I was finally Pregnant, im blessed to say that before my grandmas passed away she knew i finally was going to be a mom, and that she seen the ultrasound pictures of Lil'G.

Today is also Lil'G's half birthday. Shes half a year older, shes officially 4 1/2 today. So Lil'G and I are making a cake, and we will frost and decorate it later tonight. Then eat our cake. Lil'G wont have a party, or anything like that today, just a cake. Maybe next year, when shes older and can understand it more then we will do half party thing.

Its been awhile, and well Ive got to get things off my chest.

You have not talked to your own daughter in a week, and all you can offer her is a whole 9 minutes, WOW how that just blows my mind. What a great mom I have, all she could spare me was a whole 9 minutes today on the phone. I dont know why I even try anymore with her. Oh and get this she thinks that she can just buy something, use for however long that she wants/needs to, and then return it back to the store for a full refund. No wonder why my mom and I dont agree, or get along.

The lovely husband has spent all our bill money, and now im stuck to figuring out how we are going to make it. Im so stressed, i dont think i have been this stressed ever. Why am I the only one that can figure things out? WE barely got jan's rent paid, and have nothing for the bills, and feb. rent. No clue when and if he will be going back to work. Hello sweetheart you have been laid off since Dec. dont you think you need to figure the bills out. nope leave it to me once again. Why oh why do I stay around.  And to add to it all, the dumb ass, did not even have any money to get Lil'G anything for Christmas. I got all her Christmas done, and just like I do every year, chirstmas, birthdays, Easter, all of it. I just want to wake up one day and have the husband take care of Lil'G and I 100%. I wonder if it will ever happen. He has to stop letting his drinking take over our money. I have not worked in 3 years, and i still have to help him with the bills, and he brings home enough money to make it. So I have told him enough is enough, Come march 1st i wont be helping him anymore, and well we shall see what happens with that one. I chose March 1st, because by then he should be back to work. Im hoping and praying hes back to work by the end of this month.

Im so tired of struggling, and living like we are dead poor. He brings home enough money to take care of Lil'G and I. He just has to learn that buying beer can only happen, after the bills are paid, and not before.

Got to love Mondays right? WRONG

I was running late to start with. I hate Mondays, and hate having busy ones after such a long break. I was in the shower, when she lost the hamster. Then i was doing her hair, and she told me she was playing hide and seek with the hamster. I was like just peachy. Had hubby tear her room apart and found the hamster. Just to rush to her dentist appt. and it was only 15 min. long. I was like really are you freaking kidding me a whole 15 minutes. Well she has no cavities and all is well. Now to get this headache to go away, and take her to preschool soon.


 now time for hubby to take the starter out of my car and put the old back in. Since the new one is not working. Oh how  much I love my life right now. Xmas eve the starter went out on my car, and my dad bought us a new one. Thank you daddy for saving my car. Then its taken hubby a week to get the old one out. Its really old, and the bolts had to of been glued to the car. It was crammed space to. SO he  finally just starts taking stuff apart on the car, just to get to the starter, and gets the new one in, only to find out the new one is not new at all. And its been in the high 20's and low 30's here, poor hubby has to be sick of my car by now. 

So the other night Lil' G had to put all her baby's to bed, She got a bunk-bed, and a bassinet for her dolls from Santa. So Christmas night we had to tuck all the baby's into beds. Heres a picture of all the baby's in there new beds.  i should have got one of Lil'G in her bed, next to the baby's to. I will have to post one of that next.